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THERE WAS NO CHOICE BUT TO SACRIFICE OUR CLOTHES TO THE STORM

i’ll be your dove 

i’ll be your swan 

i didn’t know it was selfish to die in front of someone you love

i’ll wrap you in white linen cloth

I’m slinging 20,000 flaming arrows even tho i hit you on the first try

over and over again cause i’ll never know

i’ll be your dove 

i’ll be your swan

i’m just sitting in the hole in your chest 

staring at tattooed constellations of lovers put to rest

pet me till i fall asleep

euthanize me knees deep

i’ll be your dove 

i’ll be your swan

and I’ll tell all the beach boys

that all i know is how to cry

every bird gets shot down in the sky

 

I really wanted to show you exactly how my skin looks when i'm not wearing it

and how to crave the fumes of gasoline

the skeleton hand between my breasts says hello

we smile and wave back

 

I'm trying to enjoy my time on earth

but men are created with silver and gold

and breathers aren't for the air

there's 4 girls hanging out in the dark, next to a smoke stack

i am never i am always

he came from a shelter so he's damaged

i am the drawer of spare change, loose ends, and pen caps

i am the missing glove

young lovers haste

 

we can have guillotine night,

slavedriver

 

we were ridden hard and put away wet

i want to ruin you

i don’t want to ruin you

starve them in the spring

drown me in the fall

tell me i’m your dirty girl

he’s gonna chop my head off

and set wild ravens free

how much?

all the way baby all the way 

 

Dry heaving on the kitchen floor, I think back to that never ending round of spin-the-bottle. I used to spend a lot of time in a basement with a spotted boy. I love when we spit on each other, not because it’s dirty, but because black and white woven thread make grey. There’s a ghost in my record player, but I’m really thinking about the handjob I gave you on the couch in front of your mother’s death bed. My tears taste like honeydew, and my boyfriend is wearing nothing but a leather jacket while he watches me kiss my doppleganger for the first time. I can’t stop grinding my teeth when I sway in the sun, and when I close my eyes, I look like all those charms and skulls dangling from your rear view window. One last snaggletoothed smile, it’s Halloween and I’ve never been in love.

 

everything good in the world against your blue jean jacket

you were supposed to be dead while I was just being born again

he said baby you’re a star

I said baby we’re a constellation

tasmanian devil

battle wound baby

you’re driving me crazy

jerking off on the water tower when you were supposed to be in class

boy, you’ve got a sweet ass

poker champion

racetrack hero

 

glistening pee in the sun

the same cloud forever

the future in the 80’s

strange days

 

i did a cartwheel down the runway
and the roof of the airplane ripped off
it brought me that much closer to your couch
the one with the cigarette holes
there should be a thunderstorm
but it would only be good if it were dead silent
and the lightning was so abundant and bright that i wouldn’t be able to turn on the lights for days
we’d return to the cave and i’d be an orphan
i’m just waiting to make your superhero costume
i love when my body turns colors it makes me feel like i did something
they said this would be a good time to sleep
there was a better solution than rose letting go of jack like that
i hope we make it to the beach for my birthday
and that we shed this skin
and that that one song by bread comes on the radio
and that we’re so high that we don’t realize till the next day i never replaced those batteries
and we’d take turns sharing stories on how we’d kill ourselves only to make our parents feel bad
i chose “jump in traffic” today
that’s why we’re such good friends
let me know what i can do to make you want to hold me at night
"jump in front of the subway" was a good answer too
the bird with the sweater at the pier
the highschool history teacher on a summer roadtrip  
the zebra ontop of the mountain next to the roman swimming pool remake
i swear to fucking god if you like…
is this worth remembering?
i want to sock the flight attendant in the face
hematite
black tourmaline
the dead parents club

 

remember that time two birthdays ago i got period blood on my skirt and i told everyone it was orange soda and i when i turned the street corner i sucked out the blood the same way you’d remove the poison from a snake bite

everyone lets me down

 

2 axises

the world is spinning on 2 axises

and i’m drunk too

boy pjs is my other band

and you’re my john lennon 

 

 

golden horse

we will live forever

transcendence through lovers

last of the wild birds

 

Black beauty neighed, “I’ll always come running back to you.” And we made out by the white picket fence. And everyone applauded.